


anything you can do (i can do better)

by WattStalf



Series: cos your love's got the best of me (baby, you're making a fool of me) [32]
Category: Baccano!
Genre: Crack Fic, F/M, For once i don't have anything to warn for???, please don't read it, seriously this is so silly, thats how you know this was a mistake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 06:02:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7923352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WattStalf/pseuds/WattStalf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Ha! If you could find a pair that fit me, I would and I bet they wouldn't hurt at all!</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	anything you can do (i can do better)

**Author's Note:**

> This is unaffiliated with the stuff I've been posting for Baccano! Week. And thank god cos this is just purely ridiculous, but I've been having an awful day and I can't even face my emotions enough to do an angsty vent fic so instead, here's a stupid crack fic based on an OTP prompt I saw on tumblr that made me giggle.  
> "Person A and Person B of your OTP are arguing about whether or not it’s easy to wear high-heel shoes. Person A, who’s worn heels a lot, says it’s hard, while B insists that it must be easy. So, A challenges B to try dancing in heels. B accepts, and immediately falls and twists their ankle."  
> http://otpprompts.tumblr.com/post/148097870803/person-a-and-person-b-of-your-otp-are-arguing

“Where did you even manage to find those that big?” asks Ladd, staring at the open box Lua holds out to him. Inside are a pair of high heels, not made to fit his fiancee, but so large that they look like they'd fit him. Of course, that was the whole point.

“There are places,” she replies vaguely, and says no more on the subject.

~X~

“ _Is something wrong?” he asks one night when they get home. Lua has been wincing for quite some time now, and he wonders what's causing her pain. He hopes that she's not sick, that no one hurt her when he wasn't looking, that there's absolutely nothing wrong with her, because no one and nothing else is supposed to be able to hurt him but him, that's the only way it can be and-_

“ _Nothing,” she says softly, sitting down on the edge of their bed and removing one of her shoes. She sighs, and when she takes off the other, she looks a bit more content._

“ _Was it your shoes?” he asks. “Are they too small or something?” He'd thought he had all her sizes memorized, and that the new pair would fit her perfectly! “I told that damned clerk what size you were, so if it's not right, then I can go back let him know, alright? Honestly, people really need to learn how to_ listen _, that's the problem these days, you know? Not that he's going to be able to do much listening, not when I'm done with...what is it?”_

_He trails off when he realizes that she looks like she has something she wants to say. It's never been easy for him, figuring out his turn in a conversation, and he's never really given a damn about anyone else's place in conversation anyway, but he actually cares what Lua has to say, and she's so quiet that he's had to learn to read her nonverbal cues in order to tell when she wants to speak. Once upon a time, he wouldn't have been able to imagine interrupting himself for the sake of someone else, but a lot of things have changed since meeting her._

“ _They fit just fine,” she says. “They're just new.”_

“ _Huh? Well, of course they're new, I bought them for you! I just bought them for you yesterday, but if they fit just fine then how come they hurt? What's wrong with them?” He's still all worked up, thinking about going back to that damn store and making them sorry they ever messed with_ his _girl's shoes, when she sighs, and if he isn't mistaken, he'd say she looks exasperated._

“ _Heels aren't very comfortable,” she explains, “and when they're new, they take time to get used to.” There's a look in her eyes that really says she wishes she didn't have to do this much explaining, and he can feel himself getting annoyed, even though he knows it's not her fault. It's more that he still doesn't know what she means, or that he does_ know _, he just doesn't understand it._

“ _They can't be that bad for you to wear them all the time,” he replies. “I mean, you wear them every day! And so do lots of women, it has to just be that pair.”_

_Lua's lips twitch, a small smile just beginning to form, and she shakes her head. “No, they're all very uncomfortable.”_

_Once again, it doesn't make a bit of sense to him. She wears them nearly every day! He doesn't_ get it _, how she can say that heels are so goddamn uncomfortable, and no matter how plain her words are, he simply cannot process them. “I don't believe that,” he says._

“ _Well, what if you tried for yourself?” she teases, and he snorts._

“ _Ha! If you could find a pair that fit me, I would,” he boasts, “and I bet they wouldn't hurt at all!” He crosses his arms and nods, feeling incredibly satisfied with himself, and Lua just laughs, so quietly he can hardly hear it._

“ _I bet you'd even be able to dance in them,” she murmurs, and he nods again._

“ _Damn straight! Anything you could do!” He doesn't really think that she's taking their conversation all that seriously._

~X~

Now, he realizes his mistake, and wonders how he failed to read her this time. His own cockiness has blinded him, perhaps, but now she stands with a pair of comedically over-sized high heels, and he realizes that there's no way he can get out of this with his pride intact. And, really, there's no way he can get _through_ this with his pride intact, but if he has to swallow his pride for Lua (and she is the only person he's willing to do that for), he's going to do it the hard way.

She puts on a record while he puts on the heels, but when he stands, he sways and finds that balancing himself is a lot harder than he anticipated. Letting out a strangled noise of surprise, he barely manages to steady himself, and he looks over to see Lua, unbelievably almost _smirking_ , and he knows that he is doomed.

He forces a grin and takes a few shaky steps to her, taking one of her hands in his and resting the other on her waist, just like he always does. Maybe if he takes this nice and slow, everything will be just fine...Ladd takes a step back, but when he brings his other foot back to meet this one, something causes him to slip, and he can feel his ankle twisting in a way that it is _definitely not supposed to_ , and there goes his balance, and he's falling backwards now.

Lua tries to step away from him, seeing the disaster as it's about to strike, but _hell no, this is all her fault anyway_ , and besides, he already had such a tight grip on her hand that it's too late to let go, so as he crashes onto his ass and then falls back completely, she lands on top of him, the two of them sprawled out on the floor. A moment of silence passes before she catches her breath and giggles, and he thinks it might be the most sincere, full laugh he's ever heard from her. Despite the throbbing in his ankle, he laughs with her, and his own laugh soon drowns hers out.

~X~

In the end, he isn't able to walk the entire rest of the day, or most the next day, and Lua has to listen to him whine about how unbelievably dull it is to be stuck laying and sitting around. She doesn't mind having to put up with it, however, and even reads to him, in a low voice, to keep him entertained. After all, she can't be too bitter when she was the one who won.

 

**Author's Note:**

> im so sorry


End file.
